Beer Run
by BrookeNichole
Summary: What happens when Emmett and Alice go for a beer run? Already drunk off their asses? Easy, Drama : One Shot. Rated M for language. **On Hiatus**
1. Chapter 1

**This idea just sprung on me as I was driving down the road with my dad and I saw a cop pull over some teenagers down the road... I thought 'How freaking halerious would it be if Alice and Emmett ran into this kind of situation?' **

**Well, I have the awnser, right here. :)**

**It was 'spur at the moment'**

**This is my first One-Shot!**

**(All Human!)**

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I was driving to the store with Em, we were going to go get some beer for Bella's 22nd birthday party. It was going to be so much fun. She thought it was going to be hard for us getting the booze because we were only tewnty. I simply replied by pulling out two fake I.D.'s. Bella couldn't argue with that. So, here was me and Emmett driving threw the little town of Forks, already drunk of our asses going to the little mimi-mart not even a few blocks from her dad's house and the police station. We were so smart - not. As we were turning on Cheif Swan's road I heard a song I really loved. _Oops I did it again _by _Britney Spears_. "Ooo, Emmett-bear, turn it up!" I bounced up and down. To my suprise, he did and he sung along to every word. I stared at him open mouthed, shocked.

"What?" He asked, defensively.

"You, Emmett McCarty, Rosalie's big doof of boyfriend - know Britney?"

"Hey, be nice, she's a classic." He pouted.

"Uh-huh." I rolled my eyes. "And Rosalie's an angel sent from heaven - not hell?"

"Yup." He smiled and swerved a little bit.

"Hey,Emmett?" He looked over to me. "First. watch the god damn road. And two, do you want to to drive on the way back?" I asked as sweet as I could manage.

"No, Ali-cat, no thank you, I am perfectly capable of driving myself home - safely." He slurred each word. I sighed. Great. it wasn't _him_ I was worried about getting home safely, it was _me_. Jazz and I had a double date tonight with Edward and Bella and I was going to play 'Operation: Make-over-Bella-Into-A-malibu-beach-barbie-Whore.' Dammit. She still didn't know how I did it with us living in Forks - raniest place in the continatil U.S, it was easy - with Bella. She was so... what's the word I'm looking for...? Naive. That's the one. Bella was so naive when you even mentioned Edward. Same for Edward. One year a few years ago - I accually got Edward to go to a halloween party in only a towel, don't ask how, or why, because I don't know. I just said Bella'd be there half naked, an so, I guess, Edward felt the need to be half naked also. Little did he know, Bella was half naked... In a dress that barely covered her. So needless to say, that evening was fun.

"Hey, Ali-cat?"

"Yes, Emmy-boo?"  
"Do you love me?"

I sighed. We all have this convorsation with Emmett when he drinks. 'Do you love me?' 'How much do you love me?' 'Why don't everybody love me?' 'I'm nice enough, right?' All the same ones.

"Yess, Emmett I love you so much, I would you love you even more if you concetrated on the road - or better yet, let me drive!" I faked ethusiasm.

"How much do you love me, Alice?"

"A lot, Em." I sighed.

"Why doesn't everybody else love me?"  
"They do, Em." I was getting tired of this - next beer run I was so going with Jazz or Bella. Rose complaied too much about having to drive all the way in town to get crummy mini-market beer when she'd rather be drinking wine. Edward talks to much about either music or Bella... and Jacob, we've gotten close lately but, he's still got a thing for Bella, and that's just acward. Bella is quiet so I don't have a problem with her.... and Jazz, well, we wouldn't only be getting beer... I smiled wickedly, Emmett saw it and it scared him a little.

"Mary Alice, are you thinking about Jasper?"

I nodded then snapped. "Don't cal me Mary Alice ever again, got it?"

He nodded and looked out the window. "I'm nice enough, right? I mean, I tell her she's beautiful everyday, I always do what she want's me to do, I'm the teddy bear when need be, I can be serious...I can be goofy...why don't...she, love me?" He started to cry. Another thing I hated about drinking with Em, he get's emmotinal and serious.

I sighed and looked out the winshield. "I have a feeling where not talking about people right now, right?"

He nodded then shook his head, then gave me a look that said 'What the fuck did you just ask?'

I rolled my eyes. Boys. "Are we talking about Rose?"

He nodded.

"What's wrong with Rose now, Em?"

"Well, Ali, I... I mean, I wanna..." He sighed.

"You wanna, what, Emmett?" I asked, irritated.

"I wanna marry her, Alice." He mumbled.

I had to check again, "What was that Emmett?"

"I said," He yelled. "I wanna marry Rosalie Hale!"

I sighed. "That's what I thought I heard." I muttered.

"..so?"

"So what, Em?"

"What should I do?"  
I sighed. "Well, first, Have you talked to Jazzie?"

He sighed and looked out the window. "Yes, Alice. I already..."

"Already, What, Emmett?"

"I already asked her!"

My face dropped. "...And...?" I urged.

"Would I be asking you if she said yes?" He asked sarcastically.

"Oh." I muttered.

"Yeah." He replied. "So, what do I do?"

"What'd she say when you asked? Wait! First, how'd you ask?"

He sighed and got into his story, "Well, it was on our 4 yeah aniversary, a month ago... and I took her to the old high school, and I proposed in the mechanical grauge - where we met."

"And?" I urged.

"I got down on one knee, and said, 'Rosalie Alexrandia Hale, I have loved you longer than I can even imagine was possible, I loved you since the first moment I layed eyes on you, under the hood of your mercedes, and you didn't even know who came on but I remember, you said, 'Hey, bitch, get those nuts over there on the counter'' Then I chuckled. then I said, ' I want to continue calling you beautiful for the rest of my life. I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives - as your husband. I can't imagine my life without you... Rosie, will you please, marry me?'"

I was teary eyed."Wow, Em... What did she say?" I sniffled.

"She said," He put on his best 'Rose-valley girl' voice, "Emmett-bear, you know I love you, but, I have alot going on, and I just...don't think your ready for marriage. Your slowly growing up, but... your still immature.'"

I scoffed. "That bitch! You are _not _immature!"

"I know." He said.

'Well, If Rose want's immature, we'll give her immature." I grinned wickedly.

"Alie... No, no, no, no. I need to prove to Rosie I'm _not _immature. Not the oppisite! Silly." He laughed nervously.

I smirked. Great we were just passing the police station. I undid my seatbelt and rolled down my window. I looked directly at Emmett and propped myself up so I could sit on the window.

"Alice..." He warned slowing the truck down a little.

"Emmett. Go faster!" I urged.

"No! Alice! You're drunk. Drunk off your ass, I must say."

"Emmett McCarty. Go _faster!_"

He sighed and got the truck to go up to fifty. The speed limit was only thirty three. I smirked and told Emmett to look the other way. I turned so the door was holding me up and I was facing out the window. I laughed and hoped like hell Charlie was home today. I sucked in one big breathe and raised my shirt as we went by the police station.  
"Mary Alice!" Emmett yelled as he slowed the truck down more.

"Emmett go..._ faster!_"

He sighed, but went faster.

"Fuck you, you fucking pigs!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Alice." Emmett wispered. "I see blue and red lights... and I don't think they're coming from your...uh, yeah."

"My what, Em? My Boobs!" I yelled out the window.

"Uh, yeah. Alice was your plan to get us arrested?"

"Yup!" I smiled proudly as I pulled my shirt back down and sat in my seat correctly. I buckled up my seatbelt and rolled the window up.

Emmett sighed. "Great." He mummbled and he went over to pull the truck on the side of the road.  
I wasn't having that. I undid my seatbelt and moved closer to Em.

"Alice... what...what are you, uh, doing?" He asked as I moved to set on his lap.

"Oh, hush, Emmett-bear." I laughed as I floored it.

"Alice!" Emmett screamed.  
"Let them pigs get us now!" I yelled.

Emmett grabed my shoulders and set me down net to him, yet somehow still holding the wheel.

"Emmett." I whined.

"Alice.." He whined.

He pulled over and rolled down his window.

The police came over to us after about five or six minutes.

"Pig!" I yelled as he came up.

"Exuse me, Miss?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I said P-"

Emmett cut me off. "Was there a problem officer?" Emmett slurred. He grimaced, it wasn't supposed to be slurred in front of the pig.

"Well, yes, a few accually. Were you aware you were going about fifty in a thirty three?"

"Nope." Emmett lied.  
"Yup." I laughed.

"Ma'am, what, uh, were you doing back there?"

I rolled my eyes. I raised my shirt again. "This?" I asked.

"Uh, yes, why?" He stuttered. Emmett blushed and rolled his eyes slaming his head on the steering wheel.

"Emmett-bear, that's gotta hurt, stop." I sighed. "Oh, uh, yeah, forgot, pig, um, I guess... I was just... bored." I smirked.

"Well, I'm afraid you two will have to come down the the jail for a little bit till we get this all figured out, now won't we, since you were... bored?"

I rolled my eyes, and muttered, 'Pig' under my breath as we got out of Bella's truck.

"Who's truck is this?" The pig asked.

"Bella's." Emmett asked.

"Swan's kid?"

"Yup." I said.

"...and, _why_ do you have it?" Pig asked.

"Well..." Emmett began.

"B-double E, double R-U-N, Beer-run, Beer-run!!" I sang.

"Miss, are you, uh, intoxicated?" The pig asked.

"No." I said sarcastically. 'Duh!"

Emmett was mumbling somthing under his breath like, 'Rose, I'm sorry, Alice did it - not me.'

I sighed, "It's okay Emmett! Rose still loves ya!" I yelled.

"Emmett?" The pig asked. "Emmett McCarty?"

Emmett glared at me. "Yes."

"Huh, your father's in the house too. Like father like son, right?" Pig chuckled.

"Just peachy." Emmett replied icily.

I mouthed 'sorry' I forgot his dad was in town, he hated his dad.. ever since that one year... He called Rose a hooker, and a slut, and said she was only using Em for his money... then, _hit her._

I got a cold chill even thinking of it.

**(At the Jail - In the cell, awaiting phone privleges...)**

"Emmett-boo-bear-babe." I sang.

He rolled his eyes. 'Yes, Mary Alice Brandon baby?"

"I love you." I sighed.

He widened his eyes.

"I... love you, too?"

"No, Emmett, I _love _you." I said as I moved closer to him.

"Uh, okay... Alice. Your wasted, ain't you?"  
"Yup."

"Alice, darling, I love you too. As a sister..."

"No, Emmy. I love you as.. more."

"Oh, No. Alice. You are intoxicated. You know how you get when you drink...You don't mean a thing."

"But, Emmy. I do." I pleaded.

I sighed and moved toward him. "Emmett."  
"Alice."

"I am going to kiss you."

"Uh,No, Ali-" I cut him off with my lips.

He pushed me off carefully but firmly.

"Mary. Alice. Brandon. You did not just do that."

"Um. Yes, I did?" I was starting to feel a little better... I had drank over three hours ago and my buzz was wearing off.

"Alice, are you sobbering up?"

"Um, yes? Um Emmy? What did I just...do?"

You, Alice, dear, just kissed me and said you _loved _me." He said kind of acwardly leaning in the oppisite corner of me.

"Uh, I did?"

"Yes." He sighed shaking his head.

"I am so sorry Emmett."

"uh, no problem Ali. Just never again, okay?"  
"Okay." I mummbled. "Sorry again."

"So, Alice, who are you going to call?"

"Jake."

"Why not Jasper?" Emmett asked, shocked.

"Well... Jake only lives down the road."

"Down the road is everywhere." He stated, clearly not buying it.

"Emmy, If I call Jazzy I have to explain everything to him and he would be disspointed in me." I whined.

"Yeah, Alice. He will. Do you not think Jacob won't be?"  
"I didn't think about that."

"Yeah, well, start thinking."

"The dog has no room to talk." I sighed.

"I know."

"Emmett McCurdy." The officer called.

"Who are you calling, Em?" I asked, in whispers.

"Rose."

I'm pretty sure my face went pale.

"Em, let's just call Jake or Charlie."  
"Who needs to call me?" We heard the voice anyother time we would've hated to hear in here.

"Charlie!" Emmett bellowed.

"Charlie." I sighed.

"Well, well, how was I not suprised it was you two, when they told me they found two teens in Bella's car, you know who I thought of? You two." He chuckled.

"Sorry." Emmett mummbled.

"Why are you two in here?"

"D.U.I, and I kind of...yeah." I said.

"Can you get us out of here, Charlie?" Emmett asked hopeful. "I really don't want to have to explain all this to Rosie."

"Sorry kids. I can't do that. Not again." He looked at me and winked. Okay, so what? I've been in trouble with the law here a few times.

I giggled. "Then can you call Jakie for us?" I asked.

"No Jasper or Rose?" Charlie asked suprised.

"No." We both mummbled.

Emmett sighed. "We don't want them to be dissapointed in us."

"Can you call Jake for us, Charlie?" I asked again.

He sighed. "Last time I'm going to help you guys. Next time, you're staying."

"Okay." Me and Emmett said in usion.

--

Charlie came back about twenty minutes later and was all bright.

"What?" Me and Emmett asked.

"Jake's on his way." He said.

"Kay." I sighed and sat back down. I closed my eyes and waited for Jake to come pick us up.

About ten minutes later I heard Emmett and Charlie talking.

"Cheif?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, Em?"  
"Why... why's, um, _he _in here?" He asked. He could only be talking about his father.

"Murder." Charlie said after a few silent moments.

"Who?" Emmett swallowed.

"Beth." Charlie said after a long pause.

I gasped and opened my eyes. Beth. Emmett's mother. God.

Emmett started to cry. "It's okay Em." I said trying to walk over there to comfort him.

"Why!? Why the _hell_ is he still here!?" Emmett shouted.  
"Son, calm down." Charlie said. "Were wating for the prison wards to let us know when there's a spot open. We're over populated in the Seattle prison... and everywhere else for that matter."

Emmett sighed." I hate that fucking bastard."

"I do too." Me and Charlie said at the same time.

"Who died?" We heard Jake's booming laugh from the hall.

When he came up to us he stopped.

"Who did die?" He asked.

"Beth." Emmett said.

"That bastard!" Jacob spat.

"Yeah, Carslie." Emmett sighed. "He's in here."

"Hard seeing how he's your dad and Edward too, huh?" Charlie said trying to brighted the mood.

"Yeah, Esme and Beth have always raised them." I threw in.

"Are... you guys ready to go?" Jake asked.

"Yeah." Emmett sighed.  
I nodded.

----

We waited by the front door while Jake signed the paperwork. I think my heart stopped right there when I saw him.

Carslie was walking my us right out the door covered in Beth's blood.

"Bastard." I whispered.

Emmett looked toward me and turned as red as a tomato seeing Carslie inches away from me. He pulled me away, closer to him.

"_You_." He yelled.

"Me?" Carslie said as if asked a question he couldn't belive he'd been asked. Like he'd just won a million bucks.

"Carslie. I think it best if you keep walking." Charlie said.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that." He spat. "What's wrong son? Don't wanna be like your old man now?"  
"Go." Emmett wispered.

"Don't want our little Rosie to end up like your mother do you?" Carslie egged him on.

"Go!" Emmett yelled.

"Just wait till I get out!" Carslie spat.

"Go!" Emmett yelled again.

"Carslie, your in for life." Charlie reminded him.

"I'll get out."

"I've got that on tape. So they'll be keeping a extra watch on you." Charlie promised him.

Me and Emmett smirked.  
"Ready?" Jake asked walking back over to us, completly oblivious to what just happened.

"Yeah." I said.

Emmett nodded.

--

"One weird night, huh?" Jake asked as we got into his car.

"Yep." I said.

"Ditto." Emmett sighed. I felt bad for Emmett he just lost his mother and now, everything is happening at once.

"Hey Ali?" Emmett asked from the back seat.

"Yeah, Em?"  
"I'm gunna ask Rose to marry me again."

"That's a good idea." Jake said.

"Ditto." I used Emmett's line.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence. As we were going to through the last light in town I saw the sign for the liquor store.

"Jake. Pull over." I said.  
I went in and got a crapload of liquor. After all the shit that happened tonight. We were getting smashed.

--

When we got home everyone was right where we left them.

In the living room. On the floor talking and drinking.

"Lookie what we got!" I yelled.

"Emmett?" Rosalie asked.

Emmett got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. "Rosalie, I love you forever and always. Marry me?"

She started to cry and nodded.

We had a knock at the door and it was the rest of the guys from the rez.

We were sitting around having fun when there was another knock at the door about a hour and half later.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Alice Brandon?"  
"Yes." I hesitated.

"You're under arrest." They said then put me in handcuffs.

"Alice!?" Jasper yelled.

---

Oh god, this is going to be a long night.

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**Tell me what you think. My first One-shot.**

**A/N: Yes, Britney was very random!! :)**

**Review! Review! Review!**


	2. Authors Note: Sequel? :D

**Beer Run:**

**I understand that the way I ended 'Beer Run', was complicated to some. I'm sorry. It was meant to be a big joke. Since Ali and Jazz were SUPPOSED to have a date - but her and Emmy wound up in Jail... Bella and Rosie thought it would be funny to fire a stripper... Ha?.. Ha? Funny? I don't know.**

**If you want Review or PM me and tell me you want another chapter or a full story of whatever. (One shot - Two Shot) And I'll gladly do it :D**

**Thanks for reading,**

**BrookeNichole**

**XoXo**


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